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kunlun
March 2009 
What the hell
Posted on Apr 11th, 2006
by 
sadhaka
sadhaka
Just when I think I'm beginning to understand things...
The past several days, leading up to and including the first day of the weekend, were quite intense. Huge surges of energy, an incredible feeling of lightness and joy, awareness of energy fields and subtle changes in the environment, a strange spin in my heart chakra, moving out out out and glowing green.
Then as if someone flipped a switch, BLAM! Back to materiality. I feel bogged down, heavy, slow, slightly depressed, as if nothing were accomplished in the past few days, as if everything that changed reverted, as if I learned nothing and my body learned nothing.
Also my back seized up without my being aware of it. Completely without warning my lower back locked up like a steel trap. I did nothing to it. I wasn't sitting funny, I didn't sleep wrong, I didn't over exert myself. I could barely walk yesterday, could barely do my morning exercises, and can't seem to stretch very far anymore.
It makes me wonder if I did something 'wrong.' Maybe along this crash-course path of the past few days, I took a sudden wrong turn. My other idea is that my body couldn't handle all this new information being fed it and decided to stop accepting it. I don't know. I just know I'm slightly disappointed. Though I suppose the lightness will return soon.
The past several days, leading up to and including the first day of the weekend, were quite intense. Huge surges of energy, an incredible feeling of lightness and joy, awareness of energy fields and subtle changes in the environment, a strange spin in my heart chakra, moving out out out and glowing green.
Then as if someone flipped a switch, BLAM! Back to materiality. I feel bogged down, heavy, slow, slightly depressed, as if nothing were accomplished in the past few days, as if everything that changed reverted, as if I learned nothing and my body learned nothing.
Also my back seized up without my being aware of it. Completely without warning my lower back locked up like a steel trap. I did nothing to it. I wasn't sitting funny, I didn't sleep wrong, I didn't over exert myself. I could barely walk yesterday, could barely do my morning exercises, and can't seem to stretch very far anymore.
It makes me wonder if I did something 'wrong.' Maybe along this crash-course path of the past few days, I took a sudden wrong turn. My other idea is that my body couldn't handle all this new information being fed it and decided to stop accepting it. I don't know. I just know I'm slightly disappointed. Though I suppose the lightness will return soon.
Access: Public
Don't be dissapointed. You've done nothing wrong. I find it almost inevitable to have incredible drawbacks, roadblocks, or perversions to my path when things seems to be going soo well. It's almost as if the Universe is testing you. “Oh, you like that, you think this sh*t comes easy? Try this on for size! BLAM!” Just right your ship, stay focused, and keep on travelin' brotha!
…what THEY said…squared, or cubed if you're having a particularly uh…challenging…time.
The lady next door asked me yesterday morning, as we were out standing on our porches, “How ya doin'?”
Me: “Oh, somewhere between barely outta bed and pretty shitty.”
Thats my ::wisest:: description of my own particular flavor of this kind of…living.
I believe it comes with the territory. We'll just all hold hands and stick together through it, ok?
Write anytime, dude.
hugs,
dian
I agree strongly with my fellow Zaadzsters, I'm with you man…..I have that light and it switches just like that…..Where could the happiness and the light go …I'm not sure … but I do know …It always comes back !
~Mandi~