Moving Up, Emotional Healing

    What a wonderful past few days. Regular stuff going on, of course, like work and feeling low for no reason. But then I decided to give myself over to deeksha in the acceptance of the fact that Ammabhagavan does indeed allow one to receive it through their image, and that I can move that energy if I so choose. Then I invoked my Holy Guardian Angel and that energy comes through, lifts me up, and makes me smile. Feeling mostly the same after all of this, a little elated perhaps, but nothing special. Then I played my flute, trying not to think about anything.

    Afterward I had so much energy bursting out of me I couldn't contain my laughter. Everything became funny if I looked at it the right way. I started cleaning the house and it was hilarious. I started to realize though that I was sloughing off the energy I had just accumulated. It started to get a little exhausting. I felt as though I accumulated all of this marvelous energy just so that it would disperse into everything in the house. And it did. Putting dishes away, energy ran into them. Opening and closing doors, energy ran into them. Running virus scans on my computer, energy ran into it. It was a constant movement. I realized though that my ungrounded nature makes me nervous about this; I start feeling paranoid that all the energy I stored up is going to leave me and I'll be down and depressed again. Of course that only puts negative reaction-formations in place and it starts to become reality. I was wise enough today to work through it and let the energy flow where it needed to without prejudice, and everything turned out fine.

    While I was energizing myself, receiving deeksha, calling upon my HGA, I was holding my hand together with the space between making almost the shape of an upside-down heart, directing energy into my chest, and I suddenly felt the need to turn my head slightly to the right. I did and somehow felt more balanced than before. I let the energy flow, flow, flow, then my left hand moved out, palm facing me, about face height and a foot or so away. Then my right hand moved to my heart, then to my solar plexus. As it did this, I gasped. A huge surge of emotion jolted out of my body. I breathed hard for a little bit and my face changed to an expression of emotional pain for a moment. I continued to energize this area in this fashion for some time, and eventually felt this strange energy was adequately dealt with.

    I don't know what it was exactly, but I was very grateful that I was healed in this way.