Aka Dua and Kunlun: Cultivation

(AD = Aka Dua. KL = Kunlun. HGA = Holy Guardian Angel. AB = Amma Bhaghavan.)

10-22-08 – Since I got the book I've been dismayed by the fact that I've been practicing KL improperly in a few ways. I thought I'd be ready for Level 2 now, but there are a few things I need to do differently for a while first. Those things are ramping up the practice though, so I'm not worried. What's another month or so?

     Today I practiced at home, rainbow blanket spread on the floor, obsidian sphere beneath me, picture of Amabhagavan and my flute on the table before me. I played some really good healing music including the Sounds of Raphael from Tom Kenyon. There were some emotional blocks lifted and toned away, but it was much smoother than my usual practice. I think all the crystal bowl music did that. I got to a point that's very difficult to describe. Eric mentioned how the Aka Dua can take one into psychotropic-like states at the higher levels. I experienced that today. I practiced KL for a while then felt it was an appropriate time to create a field of AD around me, so I started creating a vortex of Lunar energy around me with a pillar or smaller vortex of Obsidian inside. I've done this before and for some reason the vortex always collapses into this strange sphere/orb with the Lunar inside and the Obsidian surrounding it. Once that happens my consciousness shoots to a level unlike anything I've experienced before. POWER, BLISS, ENLIGHTENMENT, TOTAL AWARENESS. Very much like connecting fully to my HGA, but different somehow. I was blown away. I begged VN to make it stay. I'm definitely changed. I crossed a barrier today. However I do let myself “leak” after a while and fall back into my usual modes. I must try to keep this awareness open.

     As is often the case for my most transcendent experiences, I'm now currently overcome with malaise and negativity. I don't know if I'm processing junk or soaking up negative energies from other people and my environment, but everything is grating on me right now. It happens all the time. It's like the more bliss I feel at one time, the crappier I feel a little later. Of course I know that's not really the case. It's not a balancing act of positive and negative energy or something or someone keeping me in check, never progressing. I just can't really explain why it keeps happening this way. Maybe I'm not detoxifying myself enough or not drinking enough water. I feel sluggish and external stimuli is slightly painful and very annoying.

    10-23-08 – Yes, I believe it is more of a physical thing, actually. Especially considering I was doing so many things together. That's what I like, obviously, but I forget how taxing that can be. Like the language of light blessings from Judy Satori; she always tells you to sip water during and after the transmission and warns that you might get a headache or need to lie down afterward. I was listening to an angelic blessing, doing KL, holding it all in place with the AD, and asking for deeksha from Amma Bhagavan. What did I think was going to happen?

     I mentioned it before, but the difference between asking to receive a deeksha blessing a few months ago and asking now is quite extraordinary. I don't even have to touch the image of AB in order to feel the energy come through. They are so giving and open, it's as though I don't even have to ask for it. I feel strange not asking or just “feeling” the form of my request since they are part of a much more formal spiritual modality. I know they're not traditional gurus or anything like that and they don't ask for exclusive devotion, but not having done the 21-day process or even seeing them in person, I have misgivings about just asking for their energy whenever and wherever in my informal, improvisational style. And yet it always comes through, strong as ever, that warm, melting energy that fuses mental dualities.

     I was reading some earlier entries about the AD and I'm a little disappointed in my reports. So much of it sounds like theory and intellectualization rather than direct reporting of hands-on experience. I just activated the Volcanic variety for the first time in a rather long while – only for a brief moment, however. I've been avoiding the “hotter” forms of the AD because they logically would seem to be contradictory to the KL, but the more I experiment the more I realize they're not incompatible in any way. It still seems weird to activate the Solar variety or the Volcanic variety during KL practice because KL is watery and cool and feminine. But in reading the book, Max often talks about the bliss heat and the fire of this or that. I hate sounding like such a hair splitter, but there are a lot of seeming contradictions in the terminology used in the book and what I've heard Max say myself. That might not speak so much to “flaws” or “imperfections” in the method itself, of course, but more to the fact that a lot of this stuff is based on interpretation and semantics to begin with, just like anything else. I have no problem with that. I just want to know what's helpful and what's harmful. Seeing that these are both types of healing energy and that they're both alchemical in nature, there's probably no way one could cause harm to the body or energy fields in conjunction with the other. Also given the wild nature of KL itself, there might even be something great to gain by playing around with seemingly contradictory energies, i.e., establishing a huge field of Volcanic AD and then practicing KL on top of it. Max does say it's bad to practice in full sunlight, though.

     Different combinations of AD seem to create very specific psychic effects. For some reason I sense the Volcanic would go very well with the KL, perhaps because of its flowing nature. Obsidian is always good. Atmospheric is kind of a mystery to me now, even though I thought it's what I started out with primarily. Oceanic is great for KL. In experimenting with creating vortices, the thought of combining Atmospheric with Oceanic to create a hurricane or waterspout is obvious and undeniable. I'm curious though as to whether the center of a hurricane spins in the opposite direction of the outer rim.

     Obsidian and Lunar go very well together. Oceanic and Lunar do as well. Today I was creating a Solar and Lunar vortex, and that was very illuminating. The energies would seem to be opposite – one cool and feminine, the other hot and masculine – but of course they say the secret behind the sun is the moon, the secret behind the moon is the sun, and this is in keeping with yin and yang principles and all that jazz too.

     It just dawned on me how ridiculous this would all sound to Russell if he were to read it. He believes in energy, but all this stuff about varieties and combinations... he'd think I was bonkers. Well, he thinks that already, but he'd probably divorce me. Ah, well.

     It seems now ever since I've been combining AD and KL, it's impossible for me not to feel a certain bliss energy arise when activating just the AD. I don't know if it's my increased sensitivity, the bliss or magnetic potential arising from practicing the KL, or just an element of the AD I hadn't noticed before(which could also be explained by increased sensitivity.) Obviously I never knew AD alone could take one into altered states of consciousness; I looked at it as a healing energy primarily. Now that I've experienced what I've experienced, it's easier to see how people could use it in art and so on. Assuming one could reach a state of altered consciousness at will with a little concentration and direction, creating art in that state would probably be a blast. I remember Shyam saying that if you surrender fully enough to an energy, you become that energy. I guess that's what's required to get one's self into those states. I can't wait to do it again. I guess the only real opportunity I'll have is next Thursday, which really sucks. Tomorrow I have the middle of the day in the meditation room, but I'm not comfortable enough to surrender fully there, plus I don't have my usual practice items like my chair and loose clothes and my rainbow blanket. (Since reading the book I've become aware that it's important to have the same things with you every time you practice to establish familiarity and an energetic build up in those objects. I suppose that may be why I have the most intense experiences with my sphere and flute and chair. I've decided to use the rainbow blanket as my meditation rug, as I have often used it for meditation and ritual in the past.)